In childhood when we make a mistake, or do something bad, we will have to look into our Mother or Father eyes, and then we will see That Look. Our eyes might be tearing up some, a normal defensive tactic we all are born to use. We look into those parental eyes; see the questions, the wondering, and maybe a bit of anger, that is not a good look.
The Cool That Look
Later in life as we grow into semi-adulthood we find That Look is a very cool way to attract the opposite sex. You look, they look, and both look, not yet very deep into the game but recognizing that something is working here. We continue to polish That Look so when the time comes we can peer into the soul of someone felt worthy of our desires.
Once we pass those awkward, exploring, fine-tuning of life years, we will meet someone special. It might be casual, might be through a friend, it does not matter but when you look into the eyes of that someone special, you are in the midst of the start of the big Kahuna of That Look.
This is the moment life has trained you for since birth. That Look opens so many different doors into the potential partner. The time-shared may be short, it will seem longer than reality, chamlooks but nonetheless it was an awesome moment. If you part soon thereafter, everything about that meeting including the eye contact will remain as fresh as a new dawn. In That Look, you saw inside the other person and maybe for the first time allowed them to see into you.
The New That Look
As the cycle of life turns, you will some day find yourself in the parent’s position, which started this tale. Your child will need admonishment for some transgression. Taking them by the hand, you look into their eyes, eyes just starting to tear up a bit. A quick smile touches your lips as the lesson from history comes to mind, but you peer into their watery eyes and discuss what happened and why. They look at you and amazingly enough do not attempt to avoid the gaze. They know That Look and would rather take a spanking then to disappoint you. You share this time, they are sorry, you are sorry and you both know a hug will come. The hug may not come at this moment, maybe it will, but that knowing exchange in the eyes tells both it will come.
As families, age another significant That Look event happens. When a son or daughter start to date there comes a time when you meet the girl or boy of their dreams. Many of the teen loves come and go. You meet each one, shaking hands and exchanging glances trying to access the type of person dating your child. They really do not want you to know anything about them. Your hesitancy might be based on the shifting eyes, maybe the changing subjects, maybe the shifting feet, all are signs of someone you should not trust with a dime much less your child.
However, reality again states that you cannot do what you want, grabbing them by the seat of their pants tossing them out the door. To do so would accomplish exactly the opposite of your desire. Instead, it would align your offended child to defend their “friend.” Therefore, you just look them over, wave a hand and hope all will be well.
Then one day a young man or woman comes to the door and you start the ritual so frequently practiced but this time it is different. Glancing into this face as you have done so often before but this time, you stop and you look. That Look is looking right at you.
There is no challenge, no “stare you down attitude,” but an invite to look at me while I look at you. You know right then that this is so different from the others, not in the appearance but the style, the life, the person.
It will happen one day a young woman or a young man fresh of face and full of talent, brimming with confidence will be the first time you will feel that your daughter or son had met someone who could potentially become a partner for their life. What happens with their lives is not your concern but inside you think this might be the one.
Tuck this truth aside for future reference when you go through the process of meeting your son or daughter’s friends. Be assured that one day you will encounter That Look, you will not miss it, and it will not miss you.